Exit Interview & Coaching Reflections

 As I tap away on my keyboard, these last words of my Catalyst Coaching Journey Blog, my heart is still pounding heavily. I couldn't have imagined at the start of this journey, the sense of joy & accomplishment (and also relief) that I am feeling right now. Although we began our class sessions almost 10 months ago (exactly 10 months to our Graduation Date: 17th Feb - 17th Dec 2022), my journey to Coaching began many years prior to that. It all began with a conversation and a relationship, and that is so appropriate I guess, since Coaching is really essentially about having Conversations and Building Relationships.

So I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every individual who has made this possible, and please know that I will cherish all our conversations and the relationships we have built on this journey together! Thank you to all the amazing Coaches and my awesome Cohort 7 partners! Our time together in session may be over, but I hope our relationships & collaborations will continue to develop. Of course, this journey would also not be complete without meaningful reflections, takeaways & growth opportunities, so the following are my Coaching reflections, feedback & feedforward.

Coaching Practicum #1 - 21 April 2022

I’ll refrain from commenting on the Coachee’s topic, as the conversation is confidential. Therefore, the focus will purely be on my Coaching strengths & areas of improvement.

First the Good Feedback:

1. I enjoy getting to know people, their background, how they think and why they behave the way they do. So it was quite natural for me to connect to the conversation well. I was just flowing with the Coachee, moving along & remaining curious to the Coachee’s story.

2. I’m a Good listener, and was able to pick up keywords from the Coachee and anchoring around her satisfaction and fulfilment.

Areas to Improve:

1. I got lost! I flowed along so well with the Coachee that I just lost sight of the destination.

2. This is where I need to establish the Coaching Agreement & Contracting  - What is this Coaching all about? What do you really want from this session? Helps with the Anchoring.

3. Checking-in - Do this at the beginning, the middle & the end of the conversation. As much as you flow, where are you ending? Do you want to go back to the original route, or stick with this? Remember, It is about where the Coachee wants to be. 

My Key Takeaway: Establish the Contract & Keep Checking-In.

Coaching Practicum #2 - 30 June 2022

The Good Feedback:

1. I was able to take the feedback from the previous practicum and applied to today’s session.

2. Overall a great session. Quite “neatly” done, from the setup, to listening, to setting the objective, expanding, and achieving the intended target.

Areas to Improve:

1. Why stop at 2? I capped the Coachee’s options and was circling around 2 topics only. Never play in a field of “either/or”. I should have looked for more areas to play. As a result, the conversation concluded too quickly. Don’t get stuck at Transactional Coaching. 

2. Don’t put a Ceiling, but Explore! Dig Deeper and look for the bigger piece that the Coachee is not saying.

My Key Takeaway: Dig Deeper & Explore bigger areas to play.

Coaching Practicum #3 - 15 September 2022

The Good Feedback:

1. My Coachee was the same as in the 1st Practicum, so I had an idea of her topic and where she was feeling stuck. I was able to reframe the Coachee’s negative flow of thought, and shifted her from that, to think in a different manner.

Areas to Improve:

1. Be cautious about using Coaching jargon (eg. reframing, learning styles, etc.). Use normal language instead and be prepared to explain more.

2. Help the Coachee to take a Broad view (the Bigger Picture) and recognise their rich experience, worth (knowledge & impact) & abilities (skills & competencies) that they can bring into the future.

My Key Takeaway: Help the Coachee recognise they are Creative, Resourceful & Whole. 

Audio Recording of a 30 minute Coaching Session
The Good Feedback:

1. My Coaching style is Light-hearted and not too serious. It’s like I’m Coaching a friend. I make people feel comfortable & should continue doing that. 

2. Caring - this comes through with my role as a Pastor for so many years. I’m not treating the Coachee as a Number or Problem, but as a Person.

3. Listening – not just to what is being said, but also deeper into understanding. I have a level of curiosity that is good. Very supportive, very creative, resourceful & whole – I understand it well. Remaining curious all the time is Key. Remain Curious as a Coach.

Areas to Improve:

1. Questioning – My Weakest Link. My Biggest Trouble. Too many closed-ended questions. I’m a bit annoyed at myself for this. I need to reword /rephrase my questions so that they become open-ended. I already know I should not be asking closed-ended questions. So I hope it’s a simple fix of translating knowledge to action.

2. Dig Deeper to the “Why?” - Look for the underlying theme. Don’t be too quick to jump on what the Coachee wants to accomplish. Ask better questions. Unfortunately, my strength of being “light” is also my Kryptonite for not going deeper. It’s a challenge knowing when to go deeper & when to hold back, and hopefully this knowledge will come with time & experience.

My Key Takeaway: Recognise when to Dig & when to Flow.

Exit Interview - Final Coaching Session - 15 December 2022

Needless to say, this was the most nerve-wracking Coaching session I had. Mel is like the Simon Cowell of Coaching, so I was trying to balance between being the Coach / holding the space and doing well / impressing my teacher. Lol. I prepared by reviewing my past feedback & reading my fellow cohorts’ posts to get a preview of what to expect. Then I opened a Coaching model in front of me and had good questions ready. Finally, I did some centering by saying a prayer and committing the session to God. I was ready (Note: I didn’t feel it, but told myself I was anyway).

What did I enjoy?

1. Not gonna lie, I was glad it was over! A great weight was lifted from my shoulders once the session was done. Clearly, I was feeling the pressure to perform and needed to live up to my own expectations. (And obviously, I wanted to graduate!)

2. My strength is building rapport & relationships. So I also enjoyed just listening to a great story. My Coachee is an exciting story-teller!

3. I think I was able to ask 1 or 2 better questions (that was acknowledged by the Coachee) that caused him to think deeper & reflect.

What can I improve?

1. The Coachee’s topic was unfamiliar territory, so I felt quite lost on that. Many of my questions were clarifying ones to try and grasp a better understanding. I would like to improve my listening ability & get a better understanding of the issue.

2. Related to the above, I would like to be able to better grasp the Neurological levels of thinking. I would like to have better awareness of where the Coachee is at (in his thinking). I believe it would have given me better direction (rather than feeling lost).

The Good Feedback:

1. That was my BEST Coaching out of the 5 sessions done! YES! (fist pump). Even though I still think I’m not as good as some of my amazing cohorts, I'm taking the win! This is about my journey & I’m getting better!

2. I stayed through being the Coach. I gave space to the Coachee to play & explore, and I didn’t try to be the solution-provider.

Areas to Improve:

1. On feeling lost & not knowing where to go - Be as NATURAL as possible. Your Coachee will never see how much you’re pedalling under the water. You only put pressure on yourself.

2. On an unfamiliar topic - Some of Coach Mel’s Best Coaching Sessions were when he understood the context the LEAST, so that he wouldn’t close it up by drawing conclusions. Not knowing is the best place for the Coach to be, to allow the Coachee to understand themselves better! (It’s never about you understanding them).

3. Give more pause between questions. Take it slow. Don’t say “Got it!” or “I understand”. By giving them more space, you’re allowing them to hear what they have just said. Coming in too quickly disarms their thinking.

4. Journal. Ask yourself, “What did I enjoy?”, “What was good?” and “What can I improve?”. Do this after every session. Then over time, you can go back and see how far you have come in your Coaching journey.

My Key Takeaway: Relax, Stay Calm, Be Natural & Be the Coach.

And that concludes this portion of my coaching journey. It feels so surreal. I’m just gonna take a moment to just take it all in… how it all began (a conversation, an interest, a discovery), the journey (the challenges…) a newborn in the family making it 3 kids under 5; all the arrangements needed to allow me to join the class sessions, initially from the confinement centre, then at home with the kids; the countless interruptions, sleepless nights & frantic evenings (also COVID). Then there was the big emotional tsunami at work… the betrayal, the hurt, the seeking & the decision… to navigating my resignation, handover, & transitioning (move).

Honestly, there were times I regretted taking up the course, not because I didn’t enjoy or benefit from it, but because of bad timing. In this season, I’ve probably lost (the most) hair, while many of those remaining have turned white. Personal care has definitely taken a side seat whilst I was juggling the many roles, responsibilities & other challenges up in the air. But I’m thankful I did take it up, and I now believe it was the right timing too. Because the coaching sessions & learnings I gained, have brought me so much awareness & insights & handles to navigate one of the roughest seasons of my life. I feel more enlightened & more confident than I have ever been before. God has been so good & so gracious by bringing me through this. So I am grateful. Yes, I am proud to say that I am closing this chapter with gratitude. Thank you all of you for being my travel companions.