Coaching 101

20220224 Module 2.
Key Idea: Coaching is a powerful journey of self-discovery.

For the longest time, I had been interested in Counselling. I can remember as far back as primary school, when asked what our ambition was, mine was to be a counsellor (or psychologist. My definition changed over time). I wanted to help people and envisioned myself sitting in an armchair, clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other, just listening to them talk about their issues, nodding along to their narratives. The human mind intrigued me and I was interested to know how different people think. Then when I found out about Coaching some years back, it felt like a switch had been turned on.

THE TALKING CIRCLE vs. THE COACHING CIRCLE

Today’s Class was primarily an interesting exercise. In the first round called a “Talking Circle”, we were instructed to give (well-meaning) advice or suggestions to a classmate after she’d shared her struggle. She then described her thoughts and emotions afterward. In the second round called a “Coaching Circle”, we were then instructed to ask 3 questions regarding her situation and she would provide her feedback after. While touched by the care & concern, she admitted feeling overwhelmed by all the advice given during the “Talking Circle”. But after the “Coaching Circle”, she felt more “open” and had received good questions she hadn’t thought of before.

The point of the exercise? While there is a place for giving good advice (Counselling, Mentoring, etc.), asking open-ended powerful questions (Coaching) creates the space for a person to reflect and discover for themselves options and opportunities they have never considered before. The responsibility of the Coach then is to help the coachee gain self-awareness… reflecting & discovering (for themselves) their best options & solutions available.

THE THINKING PARTNER

Essentially, Coaching is an Inner Game (self-discovery), challenging the Mind, Emotions, Actions & Will. Dr Marcia Reynolds describes a Coach as a Thinking Partner, and the act of Coaching as a Learning Technology that…

1) Asks (Listens Intently) 

2) Clarifies (Discerns Intuitively), and

3) Challenges (Affirms Intensely)

However, as a thinking partner, we should be mindful not to be too focused on solving the problem. We need to be interested in the individual first. Coach the person, not the problem (which happens to be Dr Reynolds' book). When we care about the coachee, and believe in their abilities (creative, resourceful & whole), that's when we set the environment for real change and transformation.