MAINTAINS PRESENCE

20220414 Module 8

Key Idea: Is fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident.

If life is a roller coaster, then mine is an endless series of ups & downs, turns & twists, and multiple loop-de-loopers thrown in along the way, all happening when I least expect it. Then again, anyone would probably feel the same when things aren’t going their way. This isn’t a competition about whose life is the most thrilling, but rather what can be done about the topsy-turvy, unpredictable path that lies ahead. 

When I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed because things are spiralling out of control, I know I need to hit pause and just take several deep breaths (realistically, it’s a lot of deep breaths) to calm myself down. Other calming things I do are pray, remind myself that God is in control, and maybe call a friend… a calm friend, who has a calm, soothing voice & demeanour. Someone to listen to my messy rant, and helps me realise that things aren’t nearly as bad as it seems, and there is almost always something I can do about it.

That calm friend is the blessing that is the Coach. A coach who is competent in maintaining presence is someone whom you know will listen, remains interested, and very importantly, someone who believes in you. Yes, life may indeed seem like a roller coaster, but at least you don’t have to ride alone. That is the gift of Coaching.

As a Coach, we have to be mindful that we are riding on the tracks of the Client. Sure, things may not be riding smoothly on our end, but for the sake of the session, we need to set our personal issues aside. Our intention is on the Client, BE the Coach, being present for the Coachee’s journey, and focused on their breakthrough. (Then after the session, get a Coach for our own mess. Haha!) The following are steps to help us Maintain Presence:

1. Remains focused, observant, empathetic and responsive to the client.

2. Demonstrates curiosity during the coaching process

3. Manages one’s emotions to stay present with the client

4. Demonstrates confidence in working with strong client emotions during the coaching process

5. Is comfortable working in a space of not knowing

6. Creates or allows space for silence, pause or reflection.

 

I realise personally, that what robs my attention (or presence) is when I am too distracted or tired. So if I am entering into a session, I need to make sure I have cleared my mind of distractions (journalling and/or writing down my task lists in the morning helps to keep me focused for the day) or if I am too tired, then just needing to take a water break or getting a drink or snack, so that I am prepared to enter into the space. Last, but not least, I pray.