EMBODIES A COACHING MINDSET (CC)

20220317 Module 5
Key Idea: Develops & Maintains a Mindset that is Open, Curious, Flexible, & Client-Centered.

When asked what we thought “Embodies a Coaching Mindset” meant to us, I initially offered, “saint”. Realising that the word could mean differently to different generations *side glance*, I should clarify my definition of a saint as someone who is “others-centered”, who puts aside personal interests for the sake of others. Some other brilliant suggestions from my cohorts & coaches include “professionalism”, “being present”, “creating a safe space”, & “bringing out the best of both sides.” When we have the Coaching hat on, we need to intentionally be aware not to impose our thinking on the coachee. For the moment we do that, then we are serving our interests more than we are serving theirs.

The definition by ICF for this Core Competency is “Develops & Maintains a Mindset that is Open, Curious, Flexible, & Client-Centered.” The following are 8 sub-points to this competency:
1. Acknowledges that clients are responsible for their own choices
2. Engages in ongoing learning and development as a coach
3. Develops an ongoing reflective practice to enhance one’s coaching
4. Remains aware of and open to the influence of context and culture on self and others
5. Uses awareness of self and one’s intuition to benefit clients
6. Develops and maintains the ability to regulate one’s emotions
7. Mentally and emotionally prepares for sessions
8. Seeks help from outside sources when necessary.

Drawing from my own personal experience, when people come to talk to me, they often have a problem that needs addressing (context: I’m a pastor). Usually, I’m able to listen and emphatise even if the conversation goes longer than expected. And if the situation calls for it, I would then offer words of comfort, advice and also a prayer before sending them off on their merry way. But there are just those certain “extra grace required” individuals (for whom I not only utter a silent prayer, but also add on a prayer of repentance), that really tests my patience and make me want to end the conversation. (Confession: there may have been 1 or 2 times too many where I would change directions upon spotting them ahead. Hence the need for repentance.) It’s not that I don’t have compassion for them, it’s more like my compassion tank had been fully withdrawn. The pattern I’ve noticed about people who love complaining, is that they LOVE complaining. They’re very often self-focused and their minds are closed up to any possible solutions. It is challenging to have conversations with people like these. 

Now obviously, from my description above, it is clear that I was NOT embodying a coaching mindset. I had boxed them in a particular pattern (filters) and my mind was not open to them changing, I was not curious, not flexible and certainly not client-centered. To be fair, there wasn’t any contracting to begin with, and I likely would’ve been more careful in choosing my clients. Lol. But such is life, and if I want to get better, then I have to be more intentional in personal learning & development to make these competencies a lifestyle. In closing, I’d like to quote my cohort, that just like core muscles, you need discipline & practice to build coaching muscles. Then, you can flex ‘em when you need ‘em.