THE POWER OF QUESTIONS

 20220519 Module 12

Key Idea: The human brain is naturally organized to begin searching for an answer when you pose it a question.

My 4-year old has a very inquisitive mind (and my 2-year old isn’t far behind - she’s getting very good at “parrot-ing” her older sister). Her ability to articulate her words well and form sentences were considered advanced for her age. As a result, she really impressed a lot of people. However, as her parents, we weren’t always too thrilled when she consistently & constantly kept asking us questions… (especially since “because I told you so!” didn’t cut it). There were times when her curious mind just left us stumped, and we really had to think deep and hard for an answer. That is what really good questions does for you. 

Powerful questions make us think deep and hard for an answer that we don’t readily have available. They also have the ability to challenge long-held beliefs and perceptions. While the reason for a child to keep asking questions is simply to satisfy her curiosity, the Coach should also be asking questions strategically to evoke deeper thinking and greater learning. A well worded & timed question can also reveal options for action while stimulating the impetus to making those necessary steps. A good Coach knows how to ask the right questions, but an experienced Coach knows when to ask them. Experience can come only by having lots and lots of practice. As for the Coach starting out, the following are some tips and handles to asking Powerful Questions.

1. 5W, 1H (Tip to remembering: 5 Wives, 1 Husband)

WHY questions: while deeply intrinsic, have the potential of being confrontational vs a supportive challenge. Too many “why” questions can become interrogative. Use sparingly & intentionally.

WHAT - most asked, and also potentially most powerful of questions. Keep open-ended.

HOW - when possible, reframe HOW questions into WHAT questions.

 - Problem-solving mode, it leads to root cause analysis (fault finding), rather than Coaching.

WHO - relationships, connections, support system, etc. as a resource.

WHEN? WHERE? - tend to be logistical questions.

 

2. Open-Ended: It explores an open response vs. just getting the closed ended “yes, no or maybe” answers.

 

3. Chunking (Breadth vs. Depth) Questions:

- Breadth questions - takes a step back to look at the bigger picture. Eg. Give me an example of… 

- Depth questions make clients go deeper into their thoughts. Useful for clients who only want to stay on the surface.

- Chunk up: What have you learnt today? What are you taking away? What is the highlight? This helps the brain think & come up with an answer.

 

4. Scaling Questions: On a scale of 1 to 10… If your answer is 5, what would make it a 7? What would 8 look like? What would you have to do differently? etc.

 

5. What if Questions: Giving them permission to dream, with abandon, no limitations.

 

6. Laser Questions: “Therefore…”, “So…”, “And this means…”, “What else…” 

- Forces the client to fill in the blanks.

 

Other tips on asking Questions

• Be Clear and Concise: Keep it short and simple, don’t use too many words or long sentences.

• Impactful: Generally, in a 15-minute conversation, aim for 3 or 4 powerful questions. The rest of the time, actively listen, seek clarity, reflect back, summarise, and offer affirmation.

• In-The-Moment: Keeping things in Flow is critical so that the Coachee does not feel it is a planned “formulaic” process. Be spontaneous and stay objective and present.

• Curious: This stance or trait allows no limitation. Like any child (below 6 years old), who is not shy to explore or ask anything with the aim of understanding, going deeper, and simply connecting at the core.

 

The beauty about asking questions is that it works in any and every situation. You don’t have to wait for a formal Coaching session to start using them. So if you want to get better and more proficient at Coaching, there’s no other way but to practice, practice, practice.