FILTERS & STYLES (OUTCOME)

 20220804 Module 20: 

Key Idea: Our Filters (determined by our perceptions of time, space, matter, energy, our values, beliefs, and overall attitude) influences the way we create our reality, state of mind, and being. It shows up in how we respond to the world through our language and behaviour.

When I hear the word “filter”, I immediately think of coloured filters that you overlay over your posts on instagram. I have the tendency to choose filters that have a blue-ish green hue, because that’s how I like my pictures. I enjoy nature, and nature tends to be in shades of blue and green… (in the Malaysian context, anyway). But in other nations not as wet or situated as close to the equator, nature comes in different shades of colours. A childhood friend of mine now based in Canada, has recently been spamming me with beautiful pictures of snow-covered landscapes in his attempt to lure me to visit. 

Over the years, we have developed different filters that influence how we perceive things. Filters don’t just affect our perception of beauty, but they also affect how we interpret information, determine our values, form our beliefs, and shape our overall attitudes & behaviours. As a result, different individuals will have different perceptions and viewpoints to a particular situation. As a Coach, we must be aware of our own filters, and be careful not to impose our perceptions on the viewpoint of the Coachee. We need to be mindful of the relational space we bring to the meeting, and pay careful attention to the whole person and whole environment of the Coachee. Otherwise, we won’t see things as they are, but see things as we are.

Every day, we are faced with waves of new information. According to Bandler and Grinder (founders of NLP), our brains respond to the information by doing one of the following: Deletion, Distortion or Generalisation. 

DELETE - This is when we tune out, deem as “unimportant” and unsubscribe to the information.

DISTORT - We change something from its original form/meaning, eg. an exaggeration, or downplay.

GENERALISE - We draw global assumptions & broad conclusions. 

All of the above then shapes our Communication Styles. Each person has their preferred mode of communication, by which they are more natural at. Unlike different languages though, people may not be aware or notice the different communication styles, which may lead to misunderstanding & confusion. If only we had a professional interpreter with us at all times, we could understand one another better. The next best thing we can do is to be fluent in the languages ourselves.

1. Be aware of ourselves and our own communication preferences (filters).

2. Increase your awareness in recognizing the communication patterns (filters) of others.

3. Adapt our communication style so that we communicate in a manner that is suitable for the other person.

4. Commit to practice the styles and language actively wherever and whenever you meet someone new or important.